Teacher: You know you can't sleep in my class.
Me: I know, But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.

grass10:

””“”“why did you cut your hair?::”“”“”  i cut my hair to piss you off. specifially you, i was thinking of you when i cut my hair. i was thinking that you, specifically, would be interested in what my newly short hair meant to you, specifically.

(via unacted)

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?
Lemony Snicket: Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.